The View From Churchmans

I’m rather partial to the north west, and obviously it would be
ridiculous to stereotype an entire region in terms of the football its
teams play, and yet… and yet… somehow, you expect a match against
Burnley to be at bit grim. And I guess it was. Burnley were an
uncompromising team who (to put it kindly) built from the back; for
once I could have forgiven any manager for using the cringeworthy
cliche “we always knew they were going to be a hard team to break
down”.

That said, we had a fair go. I suspect this is something like the
midfield Jim would like to play long term (Gavin, Garv, Monica and a
winger – hopefully Gary Roberts if they can get him permanently),
although perhaps wouldn’t want to have two of them just returning from
lengthy absences. The defence, on the other hand, wasn’t anything like
the one I’d imagaine would be Jim’s first choice, with only Jason
present and correct. The full-backs were definitely stand-ins
(although both acquitted themselves well), and we know he’s looking
beyond Bam-Bam now.

The soggy pitch cut up terribly (what’s happened to our manicured
lawns?) and that didn’t encourage any sparkling football to liven up
the damp atmosphere. We worked hard throughout the team to create
something for the whole 96 minutes (see what I did there?) but chances
were few and far between. Burnley settled for a draw at half-time, and
only created one opening in the second half. Yes of course they scored
from it.

In all honesty, this one didn’t represent a step in either direction,
although it was useful for the injury returnees to get a decent run
out. And the fact that we proved it’s not only the opposition who get
injury-time goals might have cheered a few people up.

Overall Town Performance: 5 (3 for effort/2 for achievement)

Player Ratings

PRICE 5 (3/2): Didn’t seem unsighted for the goal, so it’s a mystery
why he was beaten so easily. Distribution was very good.

BRUCE 5 (2/3), NAYLOR 5 (2/3), DE VOS 6 (3/3), RICHARDS 5 (2/3): Hard
to know what to say; the defence were rarely threatened, although none
of them really turned this into much of an advantage. Matt stuck to
his task doggedly, determined not to get caught out, it would seem,
although he might have done better for their goal too.

ROBERTS 6 (3/3), LEGWINSKI 7 (4/3), GARVAN 6 (3/3), WILLIAMS 6 (3/3):
Nice solid performance across the park, and great to see Owen and
Gavin back, with their class already showing through. I suspect
they’ll be making a real difference in a few games’ time, perhaps in
time for their first automatic suspensions.

CLARKE 5 (3/2), LEE 6 (3/3): Neither of their contrasting approaches
managed to open up the Burnley defence to any extent. And we could
have done without any of Alan’s pathetic theatrical tumbles – he can
hardly complain when the refs wave play on when he’s genuinely
impeded.

Subs: PETERS allowed the crowd to cheer themselves up with the
inevitable Peters and Lee jokes (“Which one’s the blind one? Which
one’s the girl?”) and he looked lively enough that I wouldn’t be quite
as disapointed if we can’t hang on to Gary Roberts. HAYNES has set his
super-sub standards a bit high and anything less than a winning goal
is a let-down at the moment, so I suppose a few more realistic
substitute performances are now in order.

The CROWD seemed to be elsewhere in the first half; in fact, I think
the 35,000 schoolchildren up the back of Churchmans outsang the North
stand, even if their five-minute “Burnley Suck!” chant was as bizarre
as it was embarrassing. Things got better after the break,
fortunately, and it’s always nice to have a match with late goals so
you can have an imaginary gloat at the part-time supporters just
loading their blankets into their cars in the Cattle Market car park.
The REFEREE didn’t book a single one of our players. Let me say that
again. The referee didn’t book a single one of our players. Blimey.