Eurovision, so much to answer for

Just when you think the Eurovision Song Contest is past its sell-by date, like every year, it comes back and provides you with some unmissable entertainment once more. Now, the idea of getting the public to vote, which has been running these past few years, is obviously stupid; if there was a slight regional bias in the voting before, now it’s set in stone. There’s simply no chance of anyone outside Scandinavia or the Balkans winning now, thanks to all the “and the 12 points goes to our lovely neighbours” stuff. But – and here’s a big but – the public are prepared to do something which the old “juries” never were: and that’s to vote for the nonsensical entries. This comes a few years too late for Germany, which had made the tongue-in-cheek stuff an art form, but never mind: the two countries which put in very silly songs indeed were handsomely rewarded, much to the delight of everyone in countries like the UK which stand no chance of winning any more (because everyone hates us). Lithuania’s song, which consisted of a bunch of blokes shouting “Vote for the winners, of Eurovision!” for three minutes, was nothing short of genius, and for a while looked like it might even get second place. But of course Finland’s “death metal” act swept all before it. It was more a less funny Spinal Tap than Bolt Thrower, but we loved it. The British public voted Finland 1 and Lithuania 2, as did at least one other country with no particular affiliations to either state, and the big question is: just how silly can it all get next year? Now we’ll find out which nationalities haven’t got a sense of humour. Eurovision could be about to go mental. I can’t wait.